David O'ConnellThe Expendables
August 6th 2010 02:43
Sly Stallone’s long-anticipated nostalgic action romp is indeed old-school entertainment at its finest. In a nutshell: blowin’ shit up for the spectacular eye-candy that it is whilst a conglomerate of He-Men take down an evil dictator to win the respect of a girl. It sounds a like New-Age Rambo plot.
Assembling every meat-headed, granite-munching, open-mouthed breather he could dig out of enforced retirement, Stallone reveals little slippage in his ability to tear up the screen whilst force-feeding millions of paying customers what they really want. Those bones might be 60 years old and counting but the old man can still haul ass, even with a lunatic screeching bad dialogue and waving an Uzi like a totem at his systematic retreat.
Stallone is Barney Ross, head of a dubious mercenary operation. When he’s not on active duty with his crack team, including best mate Christmas (Jason Statham), Yang (Jet Li), and potential defector, Jensen (Dolph Lundgren), he’s hanging around with another old veteran in tattooist Tool (Mickey Rourke).
Barney’s men are a motley crew of misfits. Even the most remote, impoverished South American dictatorship would recoil from the necessity for calling these rusty charges into action. But somehow they get the job done. Their latest offer comes from the shady “Mr. Church” (Bruce Willis). At the same time, Arnie strolls in. It’s the scene everyone has been waiting for. And it works too, providing a couple of the best laughs of the film, despite the incongruity of Schwarzenegger’s appearance.
The job Church is offering looks something like this: go take a peek at a formerly prosperous little island to see what kind of nefarious business is dragging it back into the quagmire. Barney and Christmas go down for a scenic survey. Meet up with their contact, a beautiful girl (Giselle Itie). She’s an artist and the dictator’s daughter of course. But the dictator and his army are just a bunch of puppets. It’s a former CIA agent gone rogue (Eric Roberts) who’s pulling the strings. Confrontation and mayhem. They blow shit up. Kill forty soldiers. Escape by the skin of their teeth. But the girl wouldn’t come with them, too proud to leave her homeland.
Looks like Barney’s going back. With serious reinforcements this time. The Expendables!! Hell, yeah.
Barney (Stallone) and Christmas (Statham) go undercover
For the bloodhounds, know there are gory deaths aplenty: men split in half by super-charged bullet-fire, limbs chopped off, the odd swift decapitation. Tame stuff if your name is Johnny Rambo but for the squeamish millions, be warned: this is war, millions die. Yawn.
The frenetic, slickly edited, in-close fighting sequences are fantastic and what really elevates the film. Unfortunately the same can't be said for the dialogue, in that much of it falls flat. There's almost an awkwardness to the repartee at times, and other than the bond between Barney and Christmas, little else registers. Rourke, though, nails one really fine scene in which he relates a wartime story that has haunted Tool and left him pyschologically scarred.
To be honest most of Barney’s entourage represent dead weight. Jet Li proves the adage that he’s a waste of space in any film in which he has to utter more than a sideways grunt in English. An assortment of wrestlers and other beefed-up Neanderthals tag along on both sides but in the end it comes down to the Stallone and Statham versus Almighty Avarice and Evil Incarnate in a Bad Suit show. The Expendables is a blast; a mindless one, but a blast nonetheless.
The Expendables releases nationally next Thursday, August 12.
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Comment by Matt Shea
20/20 Filmsight
Comment by David O'Connell
Screen Fanatic
Stallone really does cut it as an action director, you've got to hand it to him. The combat is exciting throughout and more than makes up for his limited writing skills. (Seemed like a lot less CGI than other recent action films as well.)
You're right about Statham, I guess he may have felt the need to represent the new guard - and I'm sure the financial incentives weren't the sort you'd sneeze at either! And a chance at working alongside Sly before he retires to his rocking chair can't possibly be passed up.
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
So is it as ultraviolent as Rambo? You suggest not ...
Comment by David O'Connell
Screen Fanatic
No carnage anywhere near the level of Rambo but they certainly went through a few litres of tomato sauce all the same. Although it's probably just CGI anyway.
Comment by ShaunK
Screen Adventure
I was just about to ask two questions that were floating around as I read your review and then what do I find - Bryn's asked the exact same two already - amazing I tell you.
I have a soft spot for many of these old oafs, except for Statham and while I love many of Jet Lee's films and he is awesome to watch, he also seems a tad like the odd one out.
All aside - I think I'm gonna have a lot of fun with this one!
Comment by ShaunK
Screen Adventure
Comment by David O'Connell
Screen Fanatic
I had a rare night off from MIFF the other night and decided to go to the Melbourne media screening of this instead. It made for a nice change of pace at least. But back into a long last 3 days of Festival watching starting with a triple-header tonight..........I fear my reviews may well be trickling forth for weeks to come!
If there's one person I felt sorry for in this film it was Jet Li. He's a waste of space to be honest and to say that he struggles with uttering a coherent word in English would be the understatement of the year. You can almost hear him grinding his teeth everytime he has to open his mouth!
Comment by Deni
Abstract Magick
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Comment by David O'Connell
Screen Fanatic
Comment by Journeywoman
Great Hair Style Tips
I Dream of Hollywood
Fashion Peach
Is there ANYTHING there for a girly girl?? Please tell me yes....
Comment by David O'Connell
Screen Fanatic
Journeywoman, sorry to report that this is a strictly boy's own adventure! Not much here for the girls I'm afraid!
Comment by The wonderful Peter Yang
The First Wonderful Peter Yang's Variety Blog
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Stay healthy and loose weight
Comment by JohnDoe
Film & TV on DVD
Nice to know this achieve what it sets out to do. mainly going to see it for Mickey Rourke.
Comment by David O'Connell
Screen Fanatic
JD, it aims low but hits the mark. Mickey even salvaged his dignity in Iron Man 2 and he does it again here. As I mentioned, he nails one scene in particular.